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Welcome to the place where you can get it off your chest! Got something to say? Well this is the place to say it and you don't have to hold anything back! Just use the form below and your thoughts will be posted for the World to see. Thanks!

You can also use the form below if you want to post a reply to something someone posted.

......LET ME FUCKING VENT!......

 

 

READ AND REPLY TO WHAT PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY BELOW!
Newest post will be at the top.

 

Posted February 10, 2020 by Karen, KY

Fuck you and your porn and your bullshit lying face! I hate that you are a lying POS! Lying to my face like the POS of shit you are! Then you pull the woe is me MF card! I hate you and I want to smash your lying fucking face in! Fuck fuck fuck !!!! I have to get out of this relationship, this very clear one MFing sided relationship . I am sick to my stomach that you are such a worm. I want to make you feel as rejected and used and hurt as I am.

 

Posted February 5, 2020 by Anonymous, None

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to do something in the Entertainment Business. Now I'm starting to give up on that dream because it's unrealistic and it's been getting me down. I've realized as well that one of the reasons I wanted to be known is because i'm in love with a certain celebrity, and I wanted a chance to get to know him and I figured I could only do that while famous. It's stupid I know, i've always known the chances of it happening are slim to none but now i've actually realized that that may have been the reason behind me wanting to do these things all these years and now I feel distraught.

 

Posted November 22, 2019 by Anon, No State

fuck it. my ex was my only friend, and he broke up me without an explanation and i'm still really in love with him. but recently i met another guy and thought that would be a friendship thing coz hes super cool, but this guy is trying to get me to commit to him as his effing gf. i dont wanna be his effing gf but he is the only person im ok talking to rn and if i say i dont want a relationship our friendship will be wrecked and ill be alone again. i dont wanna be alone but commiting is just too much and hell i dont know what to do

 

Posted November 2, 2019 by Anonymous, FL

There's only been a couple times I've wanted to have a mental breakdown. sometimes over friend drama or family issues. i wish I could go out with my family and be happy like everyone else can but I can't. my family can never get along,they almost have had physical fights every day and their always talking shit behind each other's back. i always want to cry everytime it happens but I can't. I just sit there with my little siblings emotionless and pretending not to care. my mom is never home any more and spends her only days off with her boyfriend and his kid. I feel like my Friends don't even care about. im the friend that trys to help the best they can,takes care of everyone but can't even take care of herself. i was always the one to put them before myself and when I come to them for help I get NOTHING. I've only thought about suicide a couple times and tried to od a few times. I just want someone to care

 

Posted June 27, 2019 by CJ, State

i do not know where to begin. i am feeling anxious about my friends. i am worrying about whether or not they actually want to be my friend, or if they are just lying when they say they love me. i love my friends so much. my mind is telling me they dont love me like they say they do. they dont want to be my friend. they dislike when i speak to them. they would not notice if i were gone. part of me knows these things arent true. but a large part of me is telling me that i should believe those statements. it hurts my heart so badly to think that my three best friends dont love me like how i love them. i know my mind is making these things up, and they do love me too. but i cannot believe myself when i say that. what i DO believe is all of the lies. i do not know why i am believing the lies more than the logic today. it is making me sad and anxious. i also have nobody to vent to. friend number one deals with her own mental health, so asking her to help me deal with mine would probably overwhelm her. i am close with friend number two, but she does not know the extent of my mental illnesses. i do not want to scare her. friend number three is the best option out of the three to vent to, but i love him too much to put my burdens onto him. i love all of my friends too much. im so afraid of being a burden. people say reaching for help is not burdening, but i know it is. they dont know how to help me. in fact, i feel as if im too far gone to be helped by anyone. i guess i will just have to keep everything to myself again. isolate from everyone. if they decide that they want to leave me, then whatever. i get it.

 

Posted June 13, 2019 by Chase Noonan, CO

Only two times in my life have I ever been truly in love, and both turned into beautiful friendships, but one stayed in love, and that love is still here today. I’m going to talk about the one that stayed. A handful of months ago, I began to realize my feelings for J (I’ll call her J for anonymities sake), after we became super close as friends, we had great chemistry, we hung out a lot, made each other laugh, and all in all just made some beautiful memories. Like this one time we went to a Walgreens and looked at adorable hallmark cards up and down the isle, laughing at their ingenious nature or the cute ways they moved. Afterwards we hopped across a crosswalk, like a couple of kids, giggling the whole way. It has just been a fond memory of mine and I always think about it. I think about all the times we had, because there were so so many that just make me smile and wish things could go back to the way they were. Like when I watched her get her first tattoo, and when we got ice cream and saw movies together where I’d give her my jacket because she was cold. But I made a choice, and I fucked it all up. Here’s the story of my love life. In the nights leading up to that choice, we were about to have our very last musical performance of Matilda. We both had pretty huge parts, J was the lead and I was a semi-lead. Every time I saw here on stage I was just in awe. She has such a beautiful voice and talent, she radiated with every note, and closing night it even made me cry to hear one of her songs. But before that, one evening a few days before, we were at a friends house watching Final Destination late into the night. She cuddled up next to me, and it was just the best feeling in the world. I’d never cuddled anyone before, and if it had to be somebody I was happy it was her. Experiencing the feeling of somebody that close to me, was overwhelming. It was then I truly fell deeper in love then I could have ever dreamed of with J. I stayed up the entire night, a whole 10+ hours, eyes wide awake. Because I didn’t want to sleep and wake her up by moving. I wanted her to be comfortable, the entire night, so I never moved. But through my tired eyes and exhausted self, I was the happiest of ever been, holding her close and feeling every breath she took. I made the choice that I was going to be with this girl, no matter what. A few days later, about a day or two before closing night, I was talking to one of her close friends (we will call her B), telling her that I was going to ask J to go out with me. She was on board. I went to the store and bought the most beautiful rose I could find, money was the last thing on my mind. After practice I asked J to come outside to my truck and close her eyes. I grabbed the flower and stood in front of her, her hands over her face. I told her that I had been listening to a song, The Nights by Avicii, and there was a line in it that had dictated a lot of the reasoning for my upcoming choice. The line was “one day you’ll leave this world behind, so live a life that you’ll remember”, and she said she knew it. I uncovered her eyes and asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes. It was especially funny because the sun like immediately blinded her upon lowering her hands, and we laughed about how she couldn’t see. I was on cloud 9. I called my best friend, R, and talked to him about it, I couldn’t believe it was happening. I went home and told my parents, and made a Facebook post that I was now in a relationship. Everything was happening so fast, I couldn’t comprehend how amazing it was. Everyone at school was so happy for me, we had this adorable ship name that I won’t share out of respect, but trust me it was the cutest. Unfortunately, it was then when the tracks shifted, and my life begun its downhill turn towards rock bottom. Over the few days we were together, I began to notice small things that chipped away our love for eachother. J would slightly avoid me at times and go to other friends, and I just noticed a sort of spark inside of her dissipate. Like I was somebody she didn’t particularly like seeing. Little did I know it was all my fault. I’m a guy that believes in true love, and finding one person to live the rest of your life with. I believed that love could be like the movies, perfect and unweilding. So when I was with her, that’s what I thought. But our wants apparently did not match our needs. The last beautiful moment I had with her when we were together, was after a night when she took me to her youth group. I’m not a religious guy, but I had a lot of friends there and it was a good time. It was a strange night though, with some very interesting occurrences. She sort of avoided me most of it, dancing with her friends, hanging out somewhere else. Then the first dagger of pain hit me when I saw something out of the corner of my eye talking to a buddy of mine. She has this other friend that I am friends with as well, (he can be G), they always had a thing with eachother, a very small thing, but you could see it. She ran into him in a doorway on accident, and all the sudden she placed her hands on his sides and smiled up at him. It wasn’t anything serious, it was more playful, but for some reason it just killed me inside, I was instantly drained. It was like she felt more happiness in seeing him then myself. I hadn’t gotten a smile like that since the day I asked her to be mine, and it hurt. We left to go home, and in the parking lot was when that beautiful moment happened, even after the thing with G. We were falling against eachother like kids walking to our cars, laughing along the way, cherubic and happy. One of the other youth group kids from our school walked up and asked if we were going to get married, and said we should when we couldn’t give an answer, it made us laugh. We half layed on the front of her car, our heads against eachother looking at the stars. I always loved to tell her why I loved her, getting that small giggle out, but no words back. I had done it so much, because J was truly the one thing on life I loved more than anything. Which I guess was alright, not getting a response, because I was happy complimenting her. We said our goodbyes and headed home, I felt good. The following day was closing night, and during warm ups beforehand there was something that threw me for a loop. J and G were playing around, having fun with eachother, but I wasn’t. I was avoiding everybody just trying to clear my head, listening to “The Nights” and letting her be. They were running around and play fighting, G was chasing her with a belt and hit her as a light joke and they both laughed their asses off at how funny chasing eachother was. She was always a tough one, a badass to say the least, so she thought it was hilarious. Something clicked inside, and I ran up to her and made sure she was ok. She said she was fine and there was nothing to worry about, that it was a joke, but it still made me conjure a deep rage for G. A rage that caused me to hit my punching bag at home so many times imagining it was him so hard, I almost broke my hand. But back to the story. We performed that night. We had wrapped it all up and had a great performance, we were enjoying sandwiches in the hallway. I was eating by myself, because I felt a very strange rift between us. A strange rift that had started the previous day: The day before, I had stopped J in the hallway and told her that I was feeling that she was avoiding me. We were alone, and it was silent, and had a long talk. She told me that she was like poison, that she didn’t like to get attached, and she didn’t want to hurt anyone, especially me. She said she had never really done something like this before, and that she was worried she might hurt me in the long run. It ended with my reassuring compliments, which never seemed to reassure her, even though I meant every word of them. I could see the beauty inside of her, and it was spectacular. There was so much life there, and I just felt like I was letting it die. I wanted her to be happy and smile and laugh, not feel down and sad about herself. It made me feel sick to imagine how she felt, and how I could help. Jkissed me on the cheek and we went home, I was in the weirdest mood ever, not being able to decipher anything. I called up B again that night, and began to cry. I was crying because I didn’t want our spark to die, I was crying because I loved her and I wanted nothing more than the best for her. I would have laid my life down for her, I would have done absolutely anything, just to make her happy. I didn’t care if I was ok, I just wanted nothing but the best for her. B soothed my mood through my tears and sobs, and I went off to bed. Now back to closing night, with the sandwiches in the hallway. I’ve come to realize that this is the day my life changed, when it all fell apart, and I lost everything. As I said I was eating alone because I felt a strange rift. J walked over to me from the other end of the hallway, and said she needed to talk. I could feel it. I knew that it was the end and my heart sank like a stone. But a part of me was hopeful it was something else. She took me to the drinking fountains down the hall, and I leaned against the wall as she told me what had been on her mind. She said that she was going to college in a few months (I was junior she was a senior), and that she couldn’t get attached any longer. So she broke up with me. I began crying and weeping, I had never felt so lonely in my entire life. She hugged me and told me not to cry, then walked away. I ran outside in the cold of the night and sat on a ledge, tears staining my face and clothes. An old friend of mine walked by and heard me, giving me a hug and telling me that he knew how hard breakups were. He patted my back and made jokes to make me laugh, but nothing could soothe the pain I had felt. I asked him to go get my best friend, who had been in the play as well. He came out and we hugged for a good few minutes, I was crying my ass off and sobbing into his shoulder. He took me too my truck and made sure I was ok, he went back in to help clean up. Another friend of mine also isn’t eh play came out, and got me some waters. I began to cry and yell, hitting the steering wheel and hurting my lungs from the sobs. I even fogged up the inside windows because of how hard I was crying, and drained my tears dry. Every time I drank water they’d refill, and so I cried more. I screamed out that I was sorry, and that I fucked it all up. I cried about how she’s be alone at prom, and that I could have done better, and that I never should of asked her in the first place. I cried for hours, till everyone came outside to leave. A few of my closest friends, including my best friend, took me to Denny’s at like 2 in the morning, and I felt a little better. Little did I know that I would be in such a wave of pain till this day, hoping it will all be forgotten in the future when she’s gone. The weeks after that we’re just pure grief and being in the dumps, I was told by so many, including my family, that it was partly because I wasn’t moving too fast, that I couldn’t say “I love you” so much, almost every time we were together. But I did, I did love her, more than anything in the world, and I just wanted her to know that. Family members would ask me about her, seeing the old Facebook post I deleted, and I had to tell them that she broke up with me. I would get reminded all the time, and I still am today. The close friend of hers that had helped me through everything told me that me and her could be friends again, I just had to give it time. She said me and her could go back to the way things were, that it was all a mindset. And I believed her, I truly did. We hung out occasionally in friend groups, but it was never the same. I always felt the gap, and it ate at me every night. Things began to change as months went by though, for better or worse, I don’t know. Things seemed alright between us, as much as I still longed for fulfillment. I still had periods of sadness, I was balancing between happiness and grief. One day at school, near her graduation, I snapped and texted her. I sent paragraphs about how lost I felt and how much I still cared for her. She said that I was making her feel bad, and that she was sorry but she didn’t know what to tell me. I told her not to feel bad and that I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt like an idiot texting her, it was foolish that I still had not let go. That night I called her and apologized for the texts, and we talked for a while, I was outside under the stars. I cried as she told me it was all going to be okay, and that we were still good friends. I said I was scared for the future and that she understood, but that I had to just realize the good and move on with my life. Well I thought I finally did. After a long period of mental struggle and feeling down, I thought it was over. I was far from it. We didn’t really see eachother for a while, I was working on getting my life back together, moving on from my past. And a couple weeks ago it all came back, in one single night. I invited her and some of my other close friends over to my place to stargaze. We drove up onto this huge hill near my place, and just had the most wonderful evening. We listed to calming music and gazed up at the beautiful night sky, all sprawled on a blanket, and she rested her head onto my stomach, a feeling I had missed for so long. Eventually she fell asleep, and my other friends had to go. I took them back to my home but before told her to stay on the mountain, that I would be back as soon as I could. I decided not to drive, just to make my trip quicker. I ran down the mountains, and back up with a big blanket, tired and exhausted. Then we laid together, just me and her, us and the stars, for hours. That spark rekindled inside of me, but I still new we could never go back. After midnight (we had dozed off), she woke me up and we went our separate ways home. I didn’t know what to think anymore. Was it all ok, was everything back to normal? The last time we saw eachother was about a week ago at a lake with a ton of people, we were all doin a campout. We all had a great time, swimming and cliff jumping, sitting by the fire, enjoying the times. That evening we played truth or dare and spin the bottle. There was one question for me of who I would make out with, and I said J. I don’t know why, I just did. I mean it was the truth. I had my first kiss with a foreign exchange friend of mine (she’s freaking awesome btw), but it wasn’t just a game kiss so I’ll say I haven’t truly had my first kiss yet. I also kissed J that night as well. None of it was a big deal, we were just kids getting drunk and having fun. I slept outside under the stars, contemplating what all was going on in my life. I haven’t seen her since, but something did happen the other night. I was drunk and high at a party, wasted off my ass. And I texted the hell out of her, telling her she was amazing and how happy she made me and how I’m sorry I fucked it all up. She inferred that I was drunk and didn’t reply, the next day I felt like a complete fool and apologized. Random train of thought, something I forgot to mention was her white car. She drives this tiny white car, I think she calls him Eddie, and it’s sort of been a plague on my life. Every time I see a white car, which are EVERYWHERE, I think it’s her. And I feel a pang of sadness again, knowing how it’s all gone. This morning I saw a white car I was for sure was hers and honked. It wasn’t her. All I can do now is wait for her to leave, and hope she fades away in my mind. Because I am still in love with her, and I still wish I could be with someone in my youth. I still think about her and the times we had, and the times we could have had. I can’t let her go and I’ve come to accept that. Some days I feel like she cares about what we had, most days I think she doesn’t. But life is ok. I’m happy and I’m moving forward with what I love to do in life and I’ve made good life decisions for my future. I know I’ll find an amazing girl that I’ll fall for and live a happy life with. But with J, I’ll always remember her for the good, no matter what all happened. I’ll always think about the life we could have had, rather than the one that happened. But in the end I’ll be alright, and she’ll become a distant memory, of the girl I fell in love with in high school. If anyone wants to talk, my Instagram is chase_noonan. Thank you for listening.

 

Posted February 23, 2019 by Sam, Bolton

I got out of a 9 year relationship. I dont know why but whatever we do I'm not happy. I met someone on a night out the other day and I nearly kissed him, at the time I didn't even care what happened. I've been with my current boyfriend since last August. I cant imagine being without him but every time I meet someone I like, I want to go home with them. I know this is horrible. I dont want to break up with my boyfriend but I want something more. I have no idea what to do.

 

Posted November 3, 2018 by Maria Lina, FL

All my friends are actual jerks. I try to ignore them or tell them I don't want to be friends anymore but its like these strings or chains are pulling me back to them. I never know what to do. I dont want to be lonely because Im afraid my depression will only get worse. I have this one friend who is the worst of them all. She's like the queen bee or the leader of the group. She is the only one besides me who has a phone and who i cant text. We used to be the best of friends but over the years she became worse and meaner and meaner. I dont know what to do. Anytime i try going to my sister or my dad they will just say im being over dramatic or i need to get better friends. I would always go to them to vent so often that the just stopped listening. My mother died so i cant go talk to her. Sometimes the queen bee friend WILL be nice but when i try telling her that I need help or something and she just tells me to suck it up or she says "Im also depressed and have anxiety so stop focusing on yourself and start helping me!" I just want to slap her, but id get in trouble with my dad. I dont have anyone else to talk to. I just feel so hopeless.

 

Posted September 6, 2018 by Savanna, TN

I‚m only three months out of high school, I don‚t have a job and because of it I‚m treated like a fucking failure. Never mind that I‚m constantly told by my friends that I don‚t have problems that I‚m too fucking wealthy to have problems, even though all my family does is bitch about how we have no money. So to them, to everybody I either don‚t have problems or can‚t have them. I‚m not allowed to fee anything at home, if I‚m happy they need to suck my soul out of my body and leave me to turn to dust, if I‚m angry then who the fuck gave me the right because I‚m just apparently so fucking ungrateful. (I hope you guys don‚t mind some grammatical errors) my friends are always venting and putting all this shit on me that I can‚t handle. I don‚t even think they‚re venting I have no idea, and they bitch me out and bitch at me, drink all my liquor get upset when I have some of there‚s. For the first time in three years I seriously thought about suicide yesterday, I‚d have done it too. Everything‚s so shitty, my family has no faith in me, they only spout jobs at me, things I‚d never want to do in a million years. On the weekend when I was away my mom sent in my fucking resume, I don‚t think they want me around. I mean they told me before how I was an accident but fuck, the only reason I found out is because I got a call back from the lady, I didn‚t want to take the interview because I told my parents I didn‚t want to work there I can‚t tell them anything they don‚t listen, I tried telling someone how upset it made me feel and all they asked was „are you gonna take the interview?‰ Like I don‚t fucking know, no, what the fuck? This is so fucked up, it was just such a cinematic fucking situation anyone could see I was upset. But she doesn‚t care, fuck like I say I can‚t have problems to them I‚m probably just feeling ungrateful that my parents don‚t want me around and that I already have everything. I don‚t know what I expected though, I mean it‚s the same fucking „friend‰ that calls me selfish and flaky because I feel uncomfortable visiting her because every time I do she‚s shady gets drunk and has a breakdown that I‚m ill equipped to deal with. I just- fuck I don‚t know. I don‚t want to be alive fuck, that‚s it, that‚s all it ever was. I can‚t have my emotions anymore, I try telling people they don‚t think I know what I‚m feeling like I‚m a child. They‚re all so toxic I need new people in my life or a new life, and I know I need a job, all I get is stabbed in the back. God she talks about how we‚re going to move in together, I‚ve seem her apartment she can hardly take care of herself, she beats her roommate and in return get beaten by him, but refuses help, not to mention her poor decorating taste I could never live with her. Is it fucked yo that that‚s still a second thought of mine, I don‚t even know, I mean they‚ve said before how they don‚t even think twice about me so why should I even care you know. Jesus Christ, I need a fucking friend like naruto.

 

Posted April 13, 2018 by Back At It Again With The Depression Yo, SD 

I want to vent to someone so badly, but I don't think anyone would be able to help me in the way I need. The few times I have tried venting to people all they've done was ignore it, turn it into a conversation about themselves, or give me some basic response like "oh I'm so sorry". Whenever I try to vent no one tries to understand or help. I have basically become the rock of my friend group, everyone comes to me with their problems, but no one ever stops to think if I'm doing okay. I just want a shoulder to cry on. I want someone to understand.

 

Posted January 5, 2018 by Dez, NO 

i don't know where to go or what to do anymore. everyday i dread going to 1st period maths, my favourite subject, to make matters worse. my teacher makes me very uncomfortable, he treats me like his property. our desks are structured in a way where he stands directly in front of mine when giving announcements to the class or when he is just talking. he pushes himself against the desk. he gives me 6/5's on homework i have actually told him i couldnt turn in. he lets me do things in class no one else is allowed to do as well, he let me sleep through the entire period once, and when one of my friends asked why i was sleeping he just replied,"someone as beautiful as ms______ must get extra beauty sleep everyday, so why not now?"and giggled like it was the funniest joke.nI wanted to cry, still half awake since it's hard to sleep in a classroom. in a PTA-type meeting me and my mum attended(it was directly after school, so it was alright for students to go with the parents)while praising me he said,"she's very smart, i keep her in the front row so she's closer to me" it was such a weird statement to me and ive been extremely scared of him since. i cant stomach being around adults i dont already know anymore because of him. im scared of everyone. i cant go back to school. i cant.

 

Posted January 2, 2018 by Ella Hirst, UK 

They think I'm weak, worthless, a nerd. Everyday at school they think that and I know because they tell me. It hurts and I used cry, but not anymore. While you CAN'T I can alone pick my self back up and stand. I can fight back, I can stand up for my self. At school I look like a nerd and stupid but I home I look like I wanted to murder someone. What I'm saying is don't judge someone before you know there life or they might do something they regret.

 

Posted October 24, 2017 by david daniel, SC 

i am at my wits end. i am stuck in a go no where job, im trying to go back to school without too much debt. i have no friends. i like and want a vintage cadillac my wife wont let me have one i like old shows like all in the family married with children the golden girls, i get no respect. im ugly i look like a corpse. i make 12.00 an hour as a call center agent and want to get out. its always something healthwise or financial with my family. please if anyone is there i need someone to talk to

 

Posted July 20, 2017 by Salem Buckets, CA 

Depression is internal. Which means for the people in my life it might as well be non-existent. I've given up on all my hopes and dreams. Lost my sister due to an interracial relationship. My bank account is currently -31 dollars. I went from being accepted into the school of my dreams to not attending school at all and being neck deep in debt. All of my credit cards have been sent to collections. My credit is absolutely horrible. I'm barely scraping by to pay rent. My therapist and psychiatrist are both ignoring the fact that the medicine for my PTSD is not working. I can't even get approved for a debt consolidation loan because banks expect near perfect credit when consolidating debt. Which makes no fucking sense. A person I once thought was my best friend tends to use me to make herself feel better and then toss me aside. Another friend of mines always wants me to listen to her problems and give advice but, it's no help at all when it comes to mines. I'm so sick and tired of everyone acting like my problems don't exist. My mom thinks I should just "pray about it" and my boyfriend becomes frustrated at any sign of distress. I'm not smiling? What the hell is my problem? I'm sad? Get over it and be happy! Life's hard? Yeah well it's hard just pretend to be happy. Everyone acts like my feelings are just a bump in the road or an inconvenience.

 

Posted July 11, 2017 by Kevin, CA 

Tired of being alone.

 

Posted July 10, 2017 by Caliana, IL 

I feel so fuckin alone. Everyone is always too busy but then I go online just to see they aren't doing shit. I'm playing a sport I hate for my family and it driving me fuckin insane and slipping me into a depression.

 

Posted July 06, 2017 by Britney, FL 

I FUCKING HATE MY PAREnts they keep yelling and yelling my mom is fat fucking cry baby who has noting to do in her stupid life, my stepdad is a fucking disgrace and disgusting, they yell at me for just breathing my mom thinks i hate her or something she's always crying and stressing i hate my godamn life

 

Posted April 29, 2017 by Syd, FL 

I'm sick of pretending like I have my life together. I really feel like no one is in my corner. anybody who says depression goes away is just another liar.

 

Posted January 15, 2017 by Anonymous, GA 

My whole life as long as I can remember has felt like a serious of unfortunate events. I always have tried to be as positive as I can and put up a brace face,but lately it's been especially hard I feel like everything in my life has built up to a certain point where I feel hopeless that I could ever truly live a happy life how other people do. I have tried to fake it in hope that one day I'll feel like I actually am normal and not completely damaged but I can't even fake it anymore. I'm 18 and I'm in my fifth year of Highschool because I spent what was supposed to be my senior year addicted to cocaine and went to school a total of 24 hours the entire year. I was taken away after that by child protective services and sent to live with my dad(where I live now) and he put me into school and I am now doing an extra year to make up for my missing school. I had turned my life around this past year it felt like I was actually doing really well in school and had hope then as soon as I felt mentally healthy enough to allow myself to do normal teenage things and go to a party and drink alcohol in a way that I thought was harmless fun I didn't know my limit passed out drunk and woke up with my tampon shoved so far up my body that I had to go to a hospital to get it out, hickeys all over my body and my pants placed on me backwards, I assume obviously I've been raped, and the icing on the cake is when I woke up and discovered this I ran out of the house the party was being held at and tried to drive home as soon as possible and on the way home was stopped for having my lights on and got a dui. this would be something I honestly feel I would have the personal strength to come back from in time, but I also have a really troubled childhood and when I go through things like this it brings back a lot of my emotions from my past and it feels so overwhelming I don't feel like I can tolerate it. I'm having nightmares of being molested as a child again and isolating myself from the world as well as just feeling exhausted from work and school and everything on my plate and to top it off, maybe because of stress or something my dad has been more angry than ever to a very unreasonable level. What triggered today's overwhelming need to vent was my dad literally screaming at me to the point where I broke down in tears, literally because I left a plate on the table instead of washing it after eating. I'm sure there are worse issues people have in the world than me and I try to remind myself that but right now I honestly kinda just wanna die and probably would have done the deed if I didn't feel like my home would ruin my little sister if I wasn't here to protect her. I'm sure no one will read all this but whatever...

 

Posted November 29, 2016 by yaaaarrrgh, CA 

Fuck jobs that rake everything out of you and reward you with nothing - good luck with keeping that department running. Fuck managers that don't know shit- how'd you get there? Fuck two faced fucks starting drama and spreading negativity for no apparent reason other than feeling threatened - suck a bag of dicks. Lonely fucking lonely right now. Need to do something about this. Applied to 5 jobs today. I've never felt so over it. I know this sounds silly but you know how when you know a relationship is going to end so subconsciously you do shit to destroy it because you're done? I haven't exactly done that in this situation but that's how I feel about my job right now. Letting little things out each day. I hope I find a new job soon because mentally speaking I've never felt so passionate about writing a resume than this past week. Believe me this is a lot more interesting to post than that. HOW THE HELL DO YOU MARKET YOURSELF WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A GOD DAMN BORING FUCK. HOW THE HELL DO I MARKET MYSELF. I'm passionate about my work, I'm tech savvy and can figure most shit out and I sure as hell will if given that task. I want to change career fields. I want to travel. I want to meet new people. I want to feel fulfilled. HEY DUDE I HAVE A DEGREE.

 

Posted October 20, 2016 by Lu, TX 

I feel like my husband never wants to talk to me all he does is work. I know he works so that he can keep a roof over me and our daughters head but I just miss him so muchx he never has time for me. I feel so lonely and sad and I just feel like he doesn't care and I can't tell him a miss him because he'll just say "you don't think I don't miss you either" rudely. I just hate it. We also argue a lot he is bi polar and his moods are always up and down and it's just hard to have a nice day without him getting too mad at me for something so little or having a nasty attitude towards me because he gets stressed out. I just miss spending time with him and feeling like he loves me. He's working so much that he doesn't even notice that we're drifting apart it sucks.

 

Posted July 5, 2016 by Jami, NC 

Suffocation is best way to describe how I feel. I feel like life is choking me and letting me die slowly. I don't even recognize myself anymore. Life has become work, sleep, work , sleep. I read fiction to escape my reality. I have no energy for my children , for my finance. I don't know how to get out of this feeling. I feel trapped and I try so hard to put forth an effort in every day life but it's becoming harder. I just want to feel something. I want to live more than just simply exist. I've gone completely numb. The only feeling I do have is contributed to be tired. Yes I'm so overly exhausted mentally spiritually and physically. Just writing this is a task but I just need it out there in the universe before I combust. I feel useless and less than. Things I have never felt before. I'm no good to anyone like this. My poor babies who only want to play with mommy and all I can say to them is not now, mommies tired. I so f'in tired of being tired.

 

Posted June 15, 2016 by Jacky, MD 

I hate the fact that I love my child's father. He cares nothing for me. He isn't like I love you or anything. He tells me straight up he doesn't and we will never be together. I want him to be with us I don't want to do this alone. I hope and do everything to show him I love him. He hates me. He is the only man I want. There are too many disease out here I don't want anyone else. He tells me there's no one else... But we don't go together he hates me. He makes me feel like I'm worthless and I'm a nobody. He puts me down. He doesn't care about my well being. He doesn't care if he hurts me. He is all I have and I know I'm just dumb but I love him and don't even know why. We barely have sex maybe 1 time a month I have no sex love I maybe see him like 4 times a month. He treats me like I'm irrelevant. I know he uses my love to his advantage but yet I still stay around just hoping. Today I found condoms he isn't man enough to admit he is messing around... But we don't go together. Point is he's happy and I'm in so much pain and misery I'm nothing to him. I have nobody. He has everyone he doesn't care if I'm dead or alive. What do I do I've tried so many times to walk away from the abuse. I know I deserve better. I just don't want to go thru this again. I don't want to try and never be loved the way I would love them because I love hard. I just want a family... A happy one. My son will grow up knowing his dad hates me. I just want to run far away and never deal with him again but we have a child. If I stay here it is just going to kill me more knowing he is happy while I'm stuck raising a family by myself with no one because I just can't trust anymore. I'm just so sad. I'm so lost. He has brought me down and I have done nothing but belittle myself. While he sits back and laughs it up living his life of freedom and whoring around. I have no one no friends. I'm alone and all I have is my kids. But who's shoulder do I lean on.... I don't want to be a one night stand... In already that to him. I want to walk away but I always go back because he's all I got. What can I do... I block him but then I call because I miss him.... He's nothing. I guess I'm insane. I just want to be happy again he's ruined me and I allowed it.

 

Posted February 14, 2016 by Dgaf, Nope 

Oh my fucking God. I am hating my putrid husband at the moment. Why the fuck do men change so much so quickly. A beautiful two years of marriage. He's the cats pajamas, woohoo. I love him and I hate the idea of losing him. It's all true. But why? Why in the hell do I still even care about this sack of bullshit that is my life. I was going to school... Working toward a future of my own. So was he, and doing well also. I was making more money than he, but who cares? We get married. Both working and going to school. He starts doing more poorly in school. Suggests working and school are suddenly too hard, I say of course sweetheart I will change to working full time! I'll do everything for you! Six months of that and whoops he started failing school! "I swear I was doing my best but my teachers and math and I hate this stuff and this isn't even what I'll use in my job in the future, WHINE." Oh, yeah, forgot to mention he literally hasn't done a single load of laundry since we got married. "I'll just do it wrong or something.. You do everything so much nicer." Also I think he has cooked twice. I spend an average of 4x as much on gifts for him, though we share money 100%. He buys video games like they're fucking candy. He's grown more and more overweight and refuses to exercise and gets all sensitive when I suggest it. I could probably be a fucking model if I wanted to, and he won't fucking fuck me, what the FUCK. Back to the story! "Whoops forgot to sign up for classes this semester. I can't find a job. Sorry honey I'm too tired for sex." All this fuckety fuck and I start talking about divorce because what in the actual fuck. I am literally doing EVERYTHING and at this point have up schooling because I should do more than just work and cook and laundry and soothe his sadness and whatever else he could possibly need. It's been a year and a half since he has worked... Since I left my dreams behind. He has continued to fail some classes, often doesn't do his homework, doesn't show up 2/5 days per week, I worry for his physical health with his growing obesity problem. Why am I still with him? Tonight he was very rude to his brother which is so unusual. He is one of the kindest men I know. I suggested as kindly as I could imagine that it wasn't appropriate and he should do his best to be more considerate, asked if he was ok, etc. He spent a fucking hour complaining about how judgmental I am and how he has never been able to speak freely since we got married for fear of hurting me and I am so sensitive that it has forced him to become more sensitive, and others around him don't understand him anymore. I literally just sat there and listened for a I'll hour(yes I started watching a fucking clock) and when he was done I said I didn't know if I could talk anymore, I was pretty emotionally tired from this conversation. He got angry for a moment, then fell asleep while saying some more things, that I confirmed how sensitive I am, etc. I woke him and suggested he go to bed. He gets all sweet and says he is so thankful for me not getting angry with him, sorry for whining, tries to pet my head and hold my hand and stuff, and I said "I'm sorry I'm not feeling very sweet right now." And he says "fine" and goes to bed, slamming the door behind him. WHAT A FUCK FACE I HATE THIS MAN RIGHT NOW. I am doing to best every, damned, day. It tortures me that I can't love him enough to more quickly forgive him or have the patience to find his way again but he has made promises over and over again to do more for me, help out. He doesn't want to lose me so he promises... Nothing ever changes for more than a week... Why can't I love him enough to not care about whether he fails... Why can't I leave him when I've got all this potential... A nice job, I could finis school and actually pursue my passion... What if life would be wonderful in ten years? What if he is the father of my children and never improves? I could literally see myself murdering him if he behaves this way around our kids. The only future I've ever cared about.. I want his kind heart... I need a change. I hurt every day. I regret.

 

Posted January 28, 2016 by Damian, OR 

You keep the seperation alive, afraid to let me in. Your boundaries get higher as time goes pushing me away as I try to break them down, so that i cant even ask what you did today without viscious irritated tones wipping back to reply "nothing". You broke my trust once and expected me to give it right back, which because I love you I gave, but as your tones grow angrier as you lay in that bed, having to be convinced and begged for you to get out of it just to take a bath once a week, my heart grows weaker of the memory of the joy, happiness, and love you once brought showering into my life. I will never leave you for we have been made one, just its gonna be a bumpy ride if you dont open yourself completley to me for once and forall and once you do i am truly sorry but there is something i must say to you, although it did not harm you or us, im sure your gonna wanna leave.

 

Posted July 8, 2015 by A, DE 

Life is fucking awful. I literally just want to be asleep forever but that would be death and that would upset the people in my life. I don't even like the people in my life, but I dont want then to be sad at my expnse. My family is really really offensive. They're those people who claim to not be racist or homophobic but still friggen make fun of cultural things and people. I hate it so much, being Pansexual myself. I dont know why they have to be like this... Example, i am aspiring cartoonist and I drew a character with brown skin, a beard, and a hook nose and my mother makes terrorist jokes. And the character has a child with him and she makes pedofie jokes and I just. One, that's reall fucking offensive to people of color and single dads everywhere, two, this is my character you are making fun of and I take it personally. i created this babe and you mock everything about him. They're all extremely vain and it's annoying. My sister is the worst. She calls her 7 year old daughter fat and says that she eats like a man. She makes fun of my lack of relationship and social anxiety. I hate her so much. Family is not for life, blood is not everything. I am cutting her out of my life as soon as I can. My other sister, my favorite sister, is currently disowned by the family. She did some really nasty things to my mother that is unacceptable, but she's the one I want to keep contact with. As twisted as she is, she understands and supports me. I am shamed for wanting to talk to her, so I do so in secret. I've been depressed for two weeks now. I feel indifferent to everythibg and am never productive. I haven't responded to my work emails in weeks, so im probably fired because I was to anxious to look at them. My ferret babe died yesterday and i just found out my other has cancer. I really can't handle losing them both on top of this depression and It hurts so bad. I care more about my animals than people. People really suck. I have two people I would consider decent friends. The rest are blah. My fans who read my comic are getting really bitchy because I have been too upset to work on any new pages. They're usually the ones I look to for support but lately they've been nasty so i dunno what to do. Boo. Vent complete. Fml.

 

Posted May 10, 2015 by Nijean, UK 

I'm hurt, 4 fucking years we have been together and then out of the blue he tells me he doesn't want to be with me any more, because he's fallen out of love with me but the fact that he slept with me A few hours before and took money for food.....he has the cheek to text me that it's over.... i'm pissed off because I didn't do anything wrong we hardly had any fight we were happy so I thought. I know I should get over him but it's hard and I know the girl in the picture and yeah fair enough some people may think that I'm being paranoid.. He told me that there is no one he hasn't cheated and I should know him better .... I don't know if I should trust him any more it's annoying how he can get on with his life being happy and its only been a week since we broke up.his going out with his friends with girls and one girl that I know he's been seen a lot of, some people may say this is jealousy I don't know really maybe I am jealous... Maybe I wasn't good enough for him maybe I could have done things differently... I don't know.

 

Posted October 16, 2014 by Sam C.W., MA 

Have you ever regretted something you know needed to happen? This, in short, can describe everything that's happened to me since summer. My girlfriend and I broke up right before college started. It wasn't a bad break up, in fact we intended to go out on dates whenever we saw each other. More recently my ex had been saying things like we aren't together anymore, telling me that we shouldn't tell each other that we loved each other any more, something we had been doing well into the time we spent apart from each other. It hurt. It pushed me away, it pushed me so far that I wound up having sex with a different girl. This might not sound like a big deal but after I had I realized that she was the only person I cared about. She, my ex-girlfriend, is the only one I want to be with. So I started pushing for us to start dating again. I expressed how I felt about our college plans that I regretted agreeing to them. She didn't agree. I think her disagreement came from a place of defense. She has always locked away her emotions and in an attempt to make herself feel safe she hid her emotions from me and from herself. One day while we were talking I decided that I couldn't handle it anymore, not getting recognition for my emotions, so i told her everything. I told her about how I love her and care about her. I told her about how I had sex with a woman other than herself and about how it made me realize how much I cared about her. I also told her that I couldn't handle talking to her unless she realized her emotions once again. It's this that I believe to have been necessary, but it also makes me feel alone. I miss her. Shes all that matters to me. I haven't seen or had romantic relations with anyone ever since I made that first mistake and I will wait for my ex until she realizes her love again. I just hope it happens soon.

 

Posted October 12, 2014 by Lola, Jhb 

I hate you soooo much I hateeeeeeeeee you, you are the worst human being, you are a pig. i hate you

 

 

 

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